Monday, 25 October 2010

Two to one

We're living in Lurgy Land at the moment, with poor Ez very under the weather. She woke up with a temperature last Wednesday of just over 40°C. I'm much more used to thinking in Farenheit so I didn't really realise how high that was until Thursday night, so we paid the doctor a visit on Friday. A chest infection was diagnosed, antibiotics were prescribed, and she's been slowly improving since then. I can honestly say that she looked like we'd dressed her up for Halloween - all pale, white, face and red red eyes. I've never seen her look so ill, and I just felt so sorry for her.

A poorly Ez naps on my lap

She wasn't well enough for nursery on Wednesday, so I dropped Fonz off and spent the day with Ez at home. This was a first. The babies have never spent a day apart from each other, and I did have a little tear in my eye when I said goodbye to Fonz for the day. I was worried how he'd cope without his sister.

Obviously it wasn't nice that Ez was ill, but I really enjoyed spending one-on-one time with her. Because she was poorly she was very drowsy so we just spent the day cuddling up on the sofa, sometimes sleeping, sometimes giggling with each other. I did feel some guilt about 'abandoning' Fonz, but it made me look forward to having a day just with him.

Today Ez still wasn't well enough for nursery, so we had another day together. She was well enough for a trip out, so I bundled her up, and we went shopping and for lunch with a friend. Of course I did miss Fonz, but the feeling of freedom being out with one baby, rather than two, was incredible. I could manage the pushchair up and down the station steps, I didn't need to juggle crying babies, and I could actually eat my lunch in peace while Ez napped.

I would never say life is easier with one baby, because we all know every baby is different, every parent is different, and every day is different, but I have to say that it felt simpler (not better, just simpler) with one. I felt less anxious, more able to cope, and I think I relaxed more. I think so much of my parenting can focus on the practical, and the struggle and pressure to balance my attention between Ez and Fonz, that I can often overlook the simply pleasures of spending time with my babies.

And while Ez looks to have recovered enough for nursery tomorrow, Fonz's temperature is rising, so who knows, I may get my one-on-one time with him sooner than I expected.
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