In my dream world, I'm planning a holiday abroad next summer. Nothing extravagant, just a camping holiday in France or sharing a gite with some friends. The cost of the ferry isn't a problem at all.
In my dream world, I'm considering a weekend away with the girls in the new year. Maybe back to that hilarious place in Gran Canaria we went to a couple of weeks before my wedding. There are some amazing deals up for grabs at the moment.
In my dream world, the time I spend with Ez and Fonz is full of fun activities, laughter and smiles. We meet up with friends, go on outings and enjoy spending time together.
In my dream world, Christmas is going to be incredible. I've been looking forward to it for months, and can't wait to enjoy it with the babies now they're older. I'll make them a stocking each, craft an advent calendar, and decorate the house to the nines.
In reality, I'm working myself into the ground trying to make enough money to pay the mortgage, the bills and the nursery fees.
In reality, I need to take a serious look at alternative childcare options to see if there's any way we can find a cheaper option.
In reality, we'll be lucky if I can afford to stop working for a week to go on holiday. And that ferry ticket? Not a chance.
In reality, a meal out with friends is a rare luxury. The chance of a holiday is zero.
In reality, my days with Ez and Fonz come round so quickly I'm caught on the hop. I have no time to make any plans, and I spend my days rushing them through, so that I can work through their lunchtime nap.
In reality, Christmas will be upon us before I've had a chance to say 'stocking' let alone make one. We'll have a lastminute rush to scrabble presents together, and I'll probably have to work right up to the day. Then there's all the added pressure of the social events you're supposed to attend. I feel exhausted just thinking about it.
Sorry for the moaning post, but life feels pretty damn tough at the moment.
This post was written for Josie's Writing Workshop. I chose the prompt 'red' because that seems to be the permanent state of my bank account.