I have an addiction...

Twins, The First Year. The essentials...

It's Ez and Fonz's first birthday this week. One year old, already. This post is inspired by Rebecca at Two Become Four's seven first year essentials, and is a list of what we couldn't have lived without for our first year with twins...

• TAMBA membership – Membership of the Twins And Multiple Births Association allows you access to the forums, where I got some great advice from other twin mums in the early days.
• Bouncy chairs – I had four: two upstairs, and two downstairs.
• Twin feeding cushion – I had the EZ-2 nurse twin feeding cushion. Go for the (more expensive) foam pillow – I bought the inflatable one initially and regretted it as it kept deflating.
• Double breast pump – For us, introducing a bottle straight away was the only way to manage feeding two newborn babies - I needed Young Daddy to help out. I bought a Medela electric double breast pump second-hand, and it was a lifesaver in helping me to supply enough breast milk as quickly as possible.
• A pushchair that fits through your front door – Mine didn't. I didn't think it would be a big deal, and I was so wrong. I spent many a cold hour sat on my front doorstep after walking the babies to sleep.
• Hands free phone adapter – when Young Daddy first went back to work, I'd phone him a million times a day (usually in floods of tears). More often than not, I had my arms full of babies, so a hands free kit was great.
• Swaddle blankets – I'm not exaggerating when I say we could not have made it through the first six months without swaddle blankets. It was the only way to get Ez and Fonz to sleep. They seem complicated at first, but become second nature so quickly. I could win a competition for Speediest Swaddler, I'm sure.
• White noise app/hairdryer – Another crutch I leaned on in the early months. If both babies were screaming, switching on the hairdryer would instantly silence them. We downloaded a white noise app for the iTouch, and played it in their room when trying to get them to sleep.
• A watch and a clock in every room – I didn't wear a watch before babies, but we quickly realised we were always needing to know the time (When's the next feed due? How long have they been asleep?). We now have at least one clock in every room, and I always wear a watch. 
• Handheld camcorder/camera phone – Or you'll forget everything. I can heartily recommend the Flip video camera, though a lot of the early photos and video footage I have of the babies was taken on my BlackBerry.
• Baby Einstein dvds – Ok, I know there are people who don't believe that babies should be allowed to watch TV, but they can't possibly have twins. The Baby Einstein dvds were invaluable at feeding time, when one baby had to wait for the other to finish, and almost always kept the waiting baby quiet.
• Planned walking routes – If your babies are anything like mine, you will do A LOT of walking. Research local routes, of varying lengths so that you know where to go when you head out the door with two screaming babies. I walked for hours and hours and hours in the early months. Always pack a drink and a snack for yourself. Oh, and a book if you're lucky enough that they'll continue sleeping when the pushchair stops moving.
• Stacking cups – If you only buy one toy, buy these. There are enough in a set to share between two babies, and they have a million different play uses, from bathtime, to stacking, to chewing, to building sand castles. They're amazing.
• Touch and feel books – Try Usborne's Touchy Feely range of books, with different textures on every page. Ez and Fonz enjoyed these from very early on, and I think reading books to them helped to calm me down too.
• A cleaner – Sadly not a luxury that we could afford, but if you have the money, this would be amazing.
• Twitter – If I have a question or need advice, Twitter is the first place I turn now. Get onto Twitter before your babies even arrive to build up an invaluable network of online friends who can help you out when you're having a meltdown. I'm at www.twitter.com/YoungMummyUk so come and say hello.
• Bath seats – Bathing two babies can be a stressful experience, and it also takes a physical toll. Both Young Daddy and I found bathing the babies in the early days really put a strain on our backs. So as soon as Ez and Fonz could sit up unaided, we invested in these bath seats from Kiddicare. 
• Metoo highchairs – We started out with regular highchairs, though I carefully chose a model that folded down, as there isn't loads of space in our kitchen. I soon got very sick of putting the chairs up and down though, so we opted for the metoo highchair from Phil & Teds. They are brilliant as the babies love sitting at the table with us, and they fold down flat so are easy to take out with you. One of our top buys, I think.

Hope that's useful to any expectant twin mums out there. I know how daunting expecting twins is, and I was desperate to be as prepared as possible. If you want any advice at all, please do leave me a comment and I'll get back to you. .

A fond farewell to breastfeeding?

The babies at around three weeks old

I think we're on week four of solids (I should really know this, shouldn't I? Best check..) and after a promising start I'm finding it quite tough-going now. Trying to give each baby a bit of milk, then some food, then the rest of their milk, especially when one is breastfed (Miss E) and one is bottle-fed (Mr A), is a challenge on my own, even on the best of days.

It was becoming impossible so I made the decision to take the boob out of the equation and give both babies a bottle at their main feed (11am). This has made things marginally easier, but I'm noticing that Miss E may actually prefer a bottle at all of her feeds. At dinner-time, when I try to breastfeed her she's extremely fussy, which I normally put down to tiredness. The last couple of days I have tried offering her a bottle instead and she's guzzled it down so she's obviously hungry but for whatever reason (low milk supply, feeling tired etc) she's not happy to breastfeed.

So have I reached the point where I call time on the boob? God knows it would make my life easier to have them both on the bottle (tandem feeding will become an option once again), and I guess it would offer me a bit more freedom to leave them for longer periods, but my number one concern is what makes Miss E happiest. If that's the boob, then fine, but if it's a bottle then that's cool too.

Breastfeeding has definitely had its ups and its downs for me and I've written about the difficult feeding decisions I've had to make. I tandem breastfed for the first six weeks, but then we had a long period of both babies (and me) getting very distressed while feeding (for reasons that are still unclear) and Mr A was a much happier baby when we switched him onto bottles.We turned a corner with Miss E at around 14 weeks, and so I have managed to enjoy a few lovely months of breastfeeding, though I have always retained some anxiety about it.

I don't know why I was so determined to breastfeed. It had always been part and parcel of my image of motherhood, although few people expected me to do it once I knew I was having twins. I think in a way I was going out of my way to prove people wrong. That I could breastfeed twins. I felt an odd sense of pride (and maybe smugness too if I'm totally honest) telling people I was breastfeeding them. I wanted to be seen as Superwoman. But before long I lost the sense of conceit and just wanted my little ones to be content.

And as for the breast v bottle debate, I reckon I'm well-equipped to comment, having babies that have done both. I feel no greater bond with Miss E than with Mr A. We probably end up spending more time together, because when Young Daddy is around he feeds Mr A, but my feelings for each baby are no different. I suspect that Young Daddy may naturally feel a bit closer to Mr A because he's been able to share the feeding duties but this will change as he can take more of a role in feeding Miss E. The babies have had the same number of colds, their sleeping patterns are pretty similar, and both have taken to solid food well. So it seems to me that the differences between breastfed and bottle-fed babies are minimal.

So how do I know when it time to sound 'last orders' at the boob? Is there a right time to do it? Do I just bite the bullet and go for it, or do I phase it out one feed at a time? I'm ready to let it go. I don't doubt I'll feel slightly sad when I stop, but I'm also excited about the next stage of our journey together...