A wonderful week

We're home today, after a lovely week oop north with the in-laws. Having extra pairs of hands around to help out with the babies, has been, in short, incredible. It's made me realise what a difference having people around to help can make. My parents live locally, but they both work full-time and have diaries so packed they rival the most dedicated socialites so we don't see as much of them as we (and they) would like.

Highlights of the week include:

* Seeing Mr A and Miss E develop a close bond with their grandparents. It has been so lovely to watch these friendships form, and makes me really sad that it will be a while before they see each other again.

* Learning some basic baby signing. Granny Jill suggested buying a book, so we've integrated a few basic signs into the days. The babies have really responded, and we think we've started to recognise some of their sounds for particular words ('cat' is a real favourite). Will write another post about this in due course.

* Having dinner out with my husband. Staying at the in-laws meant there were readily-available babysitters onhand, so that we could head out to the gastro pub in the village. I didn't get drunk at all. I promise. *ahem*

* A lovely afternoon at the seaside, strolling along the beach, eating fish and chips and icecreams and meeting up with a fab Twitter friend and her gorgeous twin girls.

* Our first night away as a couple since Mr A and Miss E arrived on the scene. We went to a wedding on Saturday, and left the babies with their beloved grandparents for the whole day AND NIGHT. We did miss them, but loved waking up in the morning at our leisure and enjoying a lazy cooked breakfast.

There was only one real negative about the week and that is that Mr A has taken to waking up early. Very, very early. I think the latest we've got up for the last ten days is 5.50am. I'm hoping this is down to teething (a new top tooth has made its appearance today), and not just that he's going to be a permanent early riser. I feel particularly sorry for Miss E, who gets woken up each and every morning by her brother when she quite obviously wants to remain asleep.

I shed a tear (ok, quite a few tears) this morning as we said goodbye and headed off on the long car journey home. And now it's back to reality with a thud as I contemplate a to-do list that has been steadily growing over the last few months instead of ever getting any shorter.

Repetitive Brain Syndrome

What day is it? I'm never quite sure, as my days have started blurring together. My routine is like a stuck record - same thing over and over and over.

Get up.. feed the babies breakfast... put them down for a morning nap... shower... breakfast... wash up... get babies up... babies sit and play with toys in a bowl... lunch... more play (same toys) and watch Waybuloo...lunchtime nap... up and walk to the park... walk home... dinner... bath... bed... blogging/twitter. Put this on repeat and that's my week.

As a day it's not that bad, we have some fun, we get outside, but the repetition gets more than a little boring, not only for me, but I think the babies need some more variety to their playtime too. So I appealed to Twitter for new things to do with Mr A and Miss E and got some fantastic responses. @vwallop (It's a small world after all) suggested sitting the babies next to a bowl of water with toys in it, or giving them some newspaper to shred (or the phonebook is apparently very popular). @violetposy (Violet Posy) sent some links about heuristic play, and suggested finger painting and homemade playdough.

I tried out the water bowl idea and though it was a little wet (putting cups in the bowl was not one of my brightest moments), Miss E and Mr A did seem to really enjoy it. I also gave them a phonebook to tear up, but Miss E was just intent on eating small bits of paper so I might leave this one for a while.

Mr A and Miss E make a splash

I'm going to try to give our week some structure and create a bit of a timetable...

Monday - Sensory play (water, lights, textures, noises etc) or heuristic play (creating a 'treasure basket' - a collection of found and natural objects made from any material but plastic such as shells, egg boxes, wooden napkin rings, ribbons, leather purse, tea strainer, small mirror etc)
Tuesday - This is the day we used to go to Monkey Music, so I think this should be 'music day'. Sing some songs, play with some instruments, have a little dance about.
Wednesday - Art/crafts? Finger painting. Any other ideas?
Thursday - Need some ideas please!
Friday - Meet up with NCT friends

I think we'll always keep our afternoon walk, as it's great to get some fresh air and explore the park or surrounding area, but have you got any other great ideas for additional activities I can do with the babies?

A slave to routine?

In The Time Before Babies, I had an idea of how I'd approach motherhood. I thought I'd be a laid back take-it-as-it-comes kind of mother. I had daydreams of myself spending those seemingly endless days of maternity leave doing all those things around London I've always wanted to do, but never quite got round to. Yes, I'd have a baby, but a baby can travel on the train and the tube, right? I wouldn't be one of those mothers who don't go anywhere, just because they've got a baby. No, I'd definitely be out and about enjoying myself, with a lovely baby to keep me company.

Finding out, at five weeks pregnant, that I was expecting twins blew those reveries right out of the water. Suddenly, motherhood looked very different. Faced with the prospect of two babies, I felt terrified and overwhelmed. I grieved the loss of the life I thought I was going to have. To the outside world I was business as usual, always there with a smile and a joke, but the reality was that I was scared stiff of how I was going to manage. I had no idea what to expect, and I couldn't picture my new life at all. To cope with the fear of the unknown I did what I'm best at - organising, researching and preparing. Creating lists. Oh, endless lists and spreadsheets. I diligently did my research, reading books and trawling twin websites and messageboards for advice. And the one thing I kept hearing was, 'routine is vital.'

The old, laid back mother I once dreamed I'd be would have shunned the idea of routine, preferring to let my baby find his/her own rhythm. And in the early days of struggling to follow Gina Ford's routine for twins (if any twin mum out there, apart from Alice Beer, has actually succeeded in doing this without the aid of a full-time nanny please do let me know, as I honestly don't believe it's possible!), I was sorely tempted to revert back to the anti-routine me. But we fared better with the Baby Whisperer, and gradually the babies fell into a pattern of feeds and naps that gave us at least some respite from the demands of caring for two babies.

The success of our day hinges on the two-hour lunchtime nap. Without this, I'm scuppered. If they don't get enough sleep the babies are miserable, and trying to comfort two over-tired small people is not a pleasant task. I can't be sure the babies will sleep in the pushchair so I design every day to ensure that I am at home for that vital lunchtime slot. But I feel trapped by this routine I've created. It's become like a ball and chain, keeping me prisoner. It slices my day in half, leaving me little time in the morning or afternoon to go anywhere too far afield, and no chance of meeting up with friends for lunch (unless they come to my place).

I know it won't last forever. I know I should just brave it and see what happens. It probably wouldn't be as bad as I imagine, but I'm scared. Having one baby kick off when you're out and about is stressful enough - just thinking about the two of them screaming in unison sets my pulse racing and my heart thumping. But I'm miserable stuck at home, and hate having to say no when I'm invited out. I can't bear being so inflexible and worry that people think I'm being difficult and uncompromising. I hate 'playing the twin card' but I guess sometimes I have to. I'll just try not to play it too often, and start masterminding an escape plan, or even better, a way to clone myself.

This was written in response to Josie at Sleep is for the Weak's prompt, 'What is making you feel under pressure right now?' for this week's Writing Workshop.

Scheduling nightmare

We committed the cardinel sin of twin care today by letting E and A start their day at significantly different times. Young Daddy got up with A at 6.30am this morning, and I tried to get some extra shut-eye while E slept - she didn't wake 'til 8.15am in the end. It was a bit short-sighted as I was then stuck with two babies on vastly different schedules for the day. E and A have been pretty well-behaved all day, but they have stuck to their normal routines (awake for 1.5-2 hours at a time and then a nap) which has meant that they haven't really slept or eaten at the same times all day - leaving me no time to myself.

On the upside, in a way I've quite enjoyed the day because I've had the opportunity to spend some really nice one-on-one time with both my babies. E and I had fun with Tuhami Mummy and baby Jacob when they popped round at lunchtime, and A and I had lots of smiles and laughs while E napped at lunchtime and this afternoon. Grandma and Grandpa Powell have always offered to look after one baby, while we spend quality time with the other but we've never really given the offer serious thought. I would definitely consider it after today so we'll have to plan in a time in the new year.