Date: Tue, 30 March, 2010
Subject: I am out of the office as I am celebrating my 30th birthday all day
1 This morning I intend to be eating a breakfast lovingly prepared by Young Daddy, and laughing as Miss E and Mr A try to eat every single one of the endless cards and amazing and beautifully gift-wrapped presents that are stacked up ready for me to open. I shall shed a happy tear at the touching and adoring sentiments in each card.
2 At lunchtime I expect to be whisked away in a chaffeur-driven car to a secret destination. Ok, you've twisted my arm, Brighton. Burglars beware - a friend is house-sitting so no need to pop round to try your luck. The roads enroute will be traffic-free and the babies will slumber peacefully in their car seats for the whole journey.
3 After a rendevous at our luxury accomodation (a friend's flat) with my parents, I anticipate opening more exquisite birthday gifts, followed by an all-expenses-paid shopping trip into Brighton. Every item of clothing I try on will fit me like a glove and make me look like an expensively-dressed fashion editor. Once I reach the till, I will discover that the perfectly-fitting item has a staggering 95% off in their exclusive sale.
4 Once Miss E and Mr A have gratefully retired to their travel cots, smiling serenely at me as I give them each a goodnight kiss, I shall sip champagne and enjoy a gastronomic feast that I have played no part in preparing. Nothing consumed will add one pound of weight to my hips or bum.
5 And finally, I will turn in for the night and enjoy the best night's sleep I've had since 2008.
In my absence, please forward all birthday wishes to my trusty comments form below.
Young Mummy x