Lost for inspiration about what to blog about today, I've been reading through the (many, many) blogs I've started following recently and I came across this heartbreaking post from A Modern Mother. It really touched a nerve and I couldn't stop the tears streaming down my face.
I've always been sensitive about things like this. Comically, I could never watch Mr Bean because I would get too upset that he was forever on his own. I'm always the one who the offbeat characters choose to sit next to on the bus, and I usually end up hearing their whole life stories - I'll flash a smile at anyone and often it's taken as an open invitation! The day I left work on maternity leave, my editor kindly offered me a taxi home as I was laden down with flowers and presents (such lovely colleagues). But by the time the taxi driver had spent the whole (rather lengthy, due to rush hour traffic) journey sharing the details of his life, and making me look through his seemingly endless holiday photos, I was beginning to wish I'd just got the train as usual.
One of the main reasons I wasn't sure if I wanted children was the fear that they would be unhappy. I didn't always have the greatest time at school, and don't know if I could cope if my child was being bullied - even the thought of it tears me apart. There, and now I'm tearing up again. I can tell this is going to go round and round in my head all night. I'm going to need to toughen up - probably the very next day at school, this little boy was back in the 'in crowd'. But still, the thought of him sitting on his own is going to haunt me...
Oh Heather, I have exactly the same thoughts (and tears) about this one. It's one of my many 'When I've turned the lights off at night time' worries. Em x
ReplyDeletekids can be cruel, it's true, but like you said, these things happen are are often over in a day of not a couple of hours. I felt terrible for the little kid as well.
ReplyDeleteI know, it hit a nerve with me too. I think it did because everyone wants to be accepted, and many have painful memories when this is the case. Also, as a parent, you want to protect children, and sometimes you can't. Nice post!
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind, but I have written a post inspired by this. I can so relate to what you are saying and have delved a little deeper into my own feelings....eek, scary what you find in there!
ReplyDeleteMB - your post is wonderful, I wish I was brave enough to be so honest on here.
ReplyDeleteAMM - Thanks for dropping by, and for writing the post that inspired this. If I thought I was sensitive before I had babies, the protective instinct has now kicked into overdrive!
Heather - you're right, these things often pass quickly. But having said that, I'm not sure the pain completely goes away - even looking back rationally as an adult I find it hard to think about some of my school experiences