Thursday, 28 January 2010

Important memo - please read


To:       Miss E and Mr A

From:     Young Mummy

Subject:  Apology for absence


Dear Miss E and Mr A

I felt it proper to bring to your attention my absence this evening. I have an scheduled meeting with my NCT girlfriends that urgently requires my presence. This appointment may well require me to indulge in a quantity of alcoholic beverages, in all likelihood the largest number of alcoholic beverages consumed since discovering that you had taken up residence in my tummy. I am also compelled to dress in non-baby-friendly attire, including a bra without flaps and shoes of the high-heeled variety.

There are a number of requests that I would like to bring to your attention, in relation to the above social engagement:

1) Please be nice to Young Daddy while I am out. Yes, Miss E, I know you don't like him to give you your bottle at 11pm, but perhaps tonight would be a nice time to give up the fight.
2) If at all possible, it would be highly appreciated if you could sleep from 11pm until 8am (or later, should you wish). If these terms are not acceptable to you, I will agree a compromise - Miss E you can sleep through, and Mr A you should embark on a quiet and screamless feed at 4am, down your bottle in five minutes, immediately offer a resounding burp, and let me/Young Daddy settle you back to sleep in your cot without any fuss.
3) It is unreasonable to start the day before 7am at the earliest. So please don't.
4) Noise levels in the Young household should be kept to an absolute minimum. It's possible that Mummy's meeting might have left her with a headache so your sensitivity to her pain would be welcomed.
5) Mummy has arranged entertainment for you for the day. Grandpa will be in attendance to pass you any toys you require, read you your Shimmering Dinkies book and generally smile and pull funny faces at you. I strongly advise you not to ask him to sing as it may cause lasting damage to your hearing. Don't panic, Mummy will still be here, but she will be playing more of a back-seat role.
6) Please cease production of exploding poos for the day, as this may cause Mummy's face to take on a undesirably green hue.

I thank you both in advance for your understanding and patience in the above matters.

Yours gratefully

Young Mummy xxx


  1. Thats a fantastic post! I love it! Have a wonderful baby free night :D

  2. Re: Important Memo

    I enjoyed reading your memo and fully approve of the intended agenda of your meeting. Hope you have a big headache afterwards (in a nice way, obviously)


  3. Hee hee. Great post! Have a fab night and a not too painful hangover!

  4. Oh good luck with tomorrow! Make tonight worth it.

  5. Love it! Enjoy your night :)

  6. Brilliant post. Make the most of it and make sure that Grandpa does not allow use of musical instruments at any point. I would also encourage them to get some fresh air so you can have a nice bath and watch shit telly. You'll feel like you've had a weeks holiday !

  7. Brilliant post, hope you had a lovely time. On the rare evenings I've been out I have made sure I wear my most breastfeeding unfriendly (ie impossible) outfits, basically dresses.

    Hope that Miss E & Mr A complied with requests and will not be called in to face disciplinary action of some sort!

  8. Thanks everyone, I had a great night.

    SM - they was sadly a lot of rattle shaking. Ouch.

    ML - I wore the highest-necked dress I own (and can fit into)!!

  9. I missed this last week, I so glad you had fun. You really deserve a girls night out every now and then, it definately keeps you sane. x

  10. Love it, such good fun. Gald you had a good night out. Mich x


Thanks a lot, I love getting your comments!


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